Type A's and Parenting...Sometimes not a good mix

I am your typical type A and anyone that knows me will tell you that. Anything I do, I do it with gusto and drive. Things that aren't working for me, I fix with hard work and determination. I have a remodeled house we worked on ourselves (when I say we, I really mean me while DH watched), and I have two very well trained dogs. I was always so proud of my dogs, the ability to listen to their momma, for them to have picked up on my hand gestures and whistles. My good grades, good education, good job, I worked my tail off. All these things in life, I have worked hard and I get to see, if not immediate, rewards for that hard work. It is gratifying to look at my tile floors or see my dog give "high-5" and know that I played a part in shaping that.

So when it comes to parenting, someone who is so used to that return on investment and somewhat instant gratification, the "failures" of your child hit you like a freight train and take you out at your knees. I say failures, because in American life, the inability to sleep through the night(STTN) or self soothe are seen as such. After all my research, and honestly, re-education regarding infants, I don't see my son as a failure anymore, from the "American" perspective. I understand the biology driving him to wake every 45 - 180 minutes. I understand the anthropoligical evidence that tells me to continue on the path of EBF (exclusive breast feeding), cosleeping, and attachment parenting. But, when we have a rough night, or a few rough nights in a row, when I didn't think anything could be worse than it already was, I personally feel like a failure, that I haven't done something right to help my little guy. And then, the worst in me comes out; I get mad or disappointed. Bad mommy, Erin, bad mommy...

It is just so extremely hard to put so much effort into the multitude of things any parent does, and to get what seems like nothing in return, especially while others you see put the same or even less and get greater returns. Don't get me wrong, my boy smiles and he lights up my world, I know that is my "Thank you" from him for being a good momma, but at 4am when every 15min he squirms awake and screams, and I trying every trick in the book to help our situation (specifically Plantley's No Cry Sleep Solution), I wish I were someone else, someone better able to emotionally handle being a parent. I wish I were not used to the 1:1 ratio of investment and return that I have known my whole life. I wish I were warmer. I wish I didn't get enraged at myself or regret ever move I made in his first 6 weeks of life. I wish I had a do-over. I wish I weren't type A.

its been too long...

in advance, an apology, I haven't written ANYTHING in nearly a month, and there has been so much to cover. Work has been busy busy busy, which really cuts into my blog-ability. I hope in the next few days to come back ad re-hash some of the AP oriented headlines from the last few weeks, like the Omnibus decision, and Octo-mom. I also will have a book review of NCSS, and some funny stories of how this book has been great and horrible all the same. So, until I am back with a brand new post, why don't you take a moment to check out my favorite blog out there.....PhD in Parenting

Happy Activist

After donating our inaugural tickets to the One Campaign, we got a little care package in the mail from them. Now everyone can see we are raising a very happy activist :)

People must think I am a freak

I got pregnant with acupuncture and chinese herbs, I intended to do a natural/hypnobirth, my son is not vaccinated, nor circumcised, and now, I am taking my son to see a chiropractor to make sure his alignment is correct. Yup, in America, I think I would be labeled FREAK.

::Insert a dancing avatar of me grooving to Missy's Get Ur Freak On::

You knew this stuff was good!

Yup, breast milk is helping a cancer patient. Hmmm.....now just think what it does for healthy babies!!!!

http://www.babble.com.au/2009/01/13/breast-milk-used-to-fight-cancer-in-nine-year-old-girl/

Meeting with Representative McGovern

Meeting with Representative McGovern

I AM ONE VERY VERY PROUD WIFE. Pictured to the right is my dear husband, with our Congressman Jim McGovern. Click the link about to see why Phil was there, but man, can I just say.......I love this man!

Breastfeeding Law Passes in MASS

Yay!

I didn't even know it was *illegal* to BF in public in Mass (how sad, the thought), but now, I, and so many other mothers are protected from harassment for doing so. I am almost tempted to go to Starbucks and test this out. You think anyone will spit out their latte?

While this is a great thing, it really is a damn shame that our country even needs laws like this. It shows how twisted our consumerist life has distorted the simple act of feeding a child, making it into a sexual act deemed inappropriate for public consumption. The comments, mostly from men, that follow the article on Boston.com show how uneducated the public is about breastfeeding. The comments of discretion, private act, and "use the bathroom" all point to the greater issue in this country, that we as a general public don't see breastfeeding as BESTFEEDING.

I grew up being told smoking is bad, and when I see people do it, it kinda disgusts me. The same way when I see someone not breastfeeding a baby under 6 months old, I kind of get woozy, because I know its not the best thing for their health. Women wean early because we as a society don't view breastfeeding as a necessary aspect of raising a child, and thus employees feel bad about taking time to pump, or EBF moms regaled themselves to a stall to feed their child. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE!

This just makes me so proud to call myself a lactavist! We are what this country needs so opinions change and breastfeeding is embraced here.

Disgusted by 'The Doctors'

On the Friday (1/9/09) episode of The Doctors, they dedicated the entire hour to all things pregnancy related. One segment was on a girl with Crohn's disease who was trying to decide between vaginal and elective c-section. The doctors said neither path would impact/be better for her illness.

Then, there, started the on-set debate between all the doctors, about vaginal versus elective c-sections. Dr. Masterson, the OB on the show said "some women may want to protect their vagina and go the elective route." Then, to top it off, Dr. Ordon, the plastic surgeon, made a comment about c-section babies coming out looking better.

WELL OH MY FREAKING GOD, I could have jumped through the TV and smackedabitch, two bitches actually. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?! These are doctors, who whether they understand it or not, are shaping the minds of all who watch this show, and lets face it, you know the majority of viewers at 2pm are 18-24yr old, less educated, un- or under-employed women, if the commercials I see at this time tell me anything about the viewership. To validate elective c-sections for what are essentially cosmetic reasons, is absolutely irresponsible on their part. Maybe OB's don't get it, they really aren't a part of the daily struggle post partum, but that your milk and ability to breastfeed, your baby's respiratory health, weight gain, among many many other factors are ENHANCED AND BETTERED by a vaginal birth. AND ALL OF THOSE REASONS SUPERSEDE ANY COSMETIC ONES.

Thank god there was a voice of reason, Dr. Sears, the pediatrician, and son of the Dr. William Sears, mentioned the benefits to the respiratory system of a baby getting squeezed while exiting the birth canal. But the show, and the OB just skimmed over that fact like it was meaningless. The respitory benefit of vaginal birth is just the beginning. The connections of the ear nose and throat are correctly placed when the baby is squeezed, resulting in less ear infections in VD babies. The mucous that the baby picks up in its nose in the birth canal carries immunities to the baby. We aren't even mentioning all the good hormonal triggers that happen for the mommy as a result of vaginal birth.

Yes, there are risks to both types of birth, you could bleed out from either type, have a Level 4 tear up your whoooha or get sepsis from an infected incision. We are lucky that if there is an issue, c-sections are available when medically, let me say that again, MEDICALLY, indicated. I have good friends who have had to have c-sections, because their or their baby's life was in danger, and I am so happy for the doctors who delivered healthy babies under such circumstances.

I understand choice, and since it is an option in the US medical community, women should have a choice. But women should know that their choice does impact more than their pretty vagina. I am sorry, but your baby's health and well being is the utmost importance, and The Doctors should promote vaginal births and that their benefits do outweigh the risks for nearly 100% of non-at-risk women.

Blog Review: Benefits of Cosleeping

I love the PhD in Parenting Blog - It may actually be my favorite blog out there. She makes sense, backs up her points with references, great data, and doesn't attack anyone that is not like minded.

Her most recent blog post is about CoSleeping, and you can find it here
http://phdinparenting.com/2009/01/09/cosleeping-benefits/

Synopsis: Contrary to what is touted by Consumer Product Safety Commission, and other government/medical boards, cosleeping can reduce both infant and mother stress, increase nursing, and lead to greater bonding of the family. Cosleeping is not for everyone, but those who practice it safely can reap great rewards.

Good Statistics: Bed sharing infants breastfeed about twice as often as regular solitary sleepers, with the total duration of nightly nursing episodes amounting to almost three times of what is observed in lone sleep conditions.

Memorable Quotes:

"research by M.D. Gordon and S.L. Hill in 2008 that found that co-sleeping families were less likely to believe their infant’s sleep was problematic than non-co-sleeping families. Those with the greatest levels of stress/concern were non-c0-sleepers that don’t practice cry it out, suggesting that responding to your baby when you do not sleep with your baby can be very stressful."

As it relates to bed sharing specifically, one study (reported on p.141 of Natural Parenting - Back to Basics in Infant Care) found that “routinely sharing the parents’ bed in infancy has been associated with greater self-reliance and social independence at preschool age than a history of solitary sleeping (Keller, M. A., and Goldberg, 2004).“

Conclusion: Cosleeping is GOOD, not only for the baby, but for the mommy as well. As a cosleeping family, I can personally attest to all of the wonderful aspects of cosleeping that this blog post mentions. This is just scratching the surface of why cosleeping is so great, but for Mommies-to-be who are thinking about this wonderful practice, this blog post and it's linked research is a great place to start.

This is from The Huffington Post

Article Review: DOD and CDC: Our Study Suggests a Possible Link Between Multiple Vaccines and Injury

Click here for the article

Synopsis: A joint task force between the CDC and the Dept of Defense (DOD) has been studying the effects of multiple vaccine administrations on new recruits into the military. 48,000, or 1-2% of recruits, are experiencing significant health effects following their military required vaccinations, to the point where "training new skills" would be required because of the resultant injury. According to David Kirby, the article's author and devout vaccine-autism link researcher, its the first time a vaccine official, in this case US Army Colonel Renata J. M. Engler, MD, acknowledges that there may be a causal link between multiple vaccines and significant health problems or injury.

Good Statistics: 1-2% incidence of side effects from multiple vaccines administered. The rate for autism in the US is 1/150 total, but 1/94 for boys. Seeing that mostly men serve in the US military (80%), this 1-2% injury rate can be aligned to the almost 1% of boys in the US that have autism.

Memorable Quotes:

"We have preliminary findings from one of our many on-going research studies that suggest a relationship between adverse events and multiple vaccinations exist. These findings will require validation, but heighten our concern for the current clinical practice of multiple vaccinations. - Dr. Engler"

"But it's also hard to imagine that there might be a "relationship between adverse events and multiple vaccinations" in adults healthy enough to fight a war, and yet, among babies and infants with immature immune systems and developing brains, the practice is universally harmless - even for kids like Hannah Poling who had an underlying mitochondrial dysfunction. - David Kirby

Conclusion: FINALLY! YES! SOMEONE DOWN IN WASHINGTON IS ACKNOWLEDGING THAT GIVING MULTIPLE VACCINES AT ONCE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO OUR HEALTH. I am pissed this hasn't gotten much (if any) national media play, because it is a vital piece of the argument against the one size fits all vaccine schedule the CDC and Paul Offit try to push on American families. For those of you considering a delayed schedule or even not doing vaccines at all, this is a great article to bring to your Doctor that sheds specific doubt on the current regime they want to put your child through.